DOING WHAT COMES NATURALLY…OR DOES IT?

I mean…what IS that??

Before children, my idea of the word natural, was in relation to make-up, hair colour or lolly snakes from the natural Confectionary Company. All of a sudden, I was tipped sideways into a world of baby jargon where natural seemed to be the ‘go to’ word. It was hip and politically correct to pepper the term natural through any discussion about one’s pregnancy, diet, lifestyle and darest I mention it – birth plan (the way I ‘planned’ it, it would involve a hot shower, a sneeze and the baby would come out).

I had two birth records stamped, ‘normal vaginal delivery’ and I can tell you there ain’t nothing normal about it. We’ve all heard the reference to pushing a watermelon out, right? In what universe does that seem remotely natural?   I am not an advocate for or against any particular type of birth style; a live baby is the ultimate goal and I was happy to be guided by the professionals, but I found the whole process of pushing a baby out to be so far from my definition of natural.

Then the term natural is flung about in reference to one’s parenting style; “Oh, she’s a natural little mother,” and “just do what comes naturally,” and “follow your natural instincts,” and so on and so forth. Incredibly, no one seemed to throw these statements my way…In fact, I am slightly alarmed that a friend suggested this topic to me, in the belief that I could give support to those whom parenting does not come naturally to. Although slightly..well… put out a little, I do get where they were coming from. My nephew was the first baby I ever held at the ripe old age of 25. I really was terrified. Even then I think it was for a quick photo followed by a sneaky pass back to my sister as soon as no one was looking.

Babies would be passed around friend’s gatherings and I would duck or go in search of more wine (as I put down my full glass). I did not picture my future children or even give it too much thought. Obviously, when my husband and I decided to launch into the abyss, this changed, but it wasn’t always a given course from my perspective. When my mother-in-law boldly asked us to hurry up with the grandkids in a speech at our wedding, I believe my outsides laughed along with the room, whilst my ovaries hit the floor. No; nothing natural there, either.

Recently we caught up with a group of my old high school mates at a 40th (that in itself just does not seem natural). My old flatmate from my Uni days reminded Husband and myself that I used to vow and declare that children were not on the agenda (actually, it was the whole notion of childbirth that scared the clappers out of me from memory). So clearly, even then, I had never considered motherhood to be a natural progression.

I have always naturally been a good sleeper. This does not bode well with small children. The last few years of my life as a mum has been an ‘awakening’; what a bloody understatement…awakening at all hours of the night. I look at my bubs and know that every one of those long, dark, lonely, cold, middle of the night minutes was worth it, but again; this was just not natural for me. To wake to the call of my own body clock; now that is natural…but still a fantasy for me right now.

I know that being a Mum for many of you is the most natural thing in the world and that this blog may not really be for you. But for me…? Well…. it just took me a little longer to warm up to it. And how very grateful I am that Husband and I took the plunge and were oh so blessed!  Because when my Angel’s little jammy hands reach up for a “coddle”, and my beautiful, bold boy asks mummy for a “smasher (kiss)” on his cheek….yeah…that seems like the most natural thing in the world.