THIS MUMMY GIG? I'VE GOT IT COVERED...

Celebrating the things I now do
really well as a Mum :

Throw the nappy
bags from the side door as close as possible to the outside garbage bin; sometimes,
just for kicks, Husband and I make it a competition…precision sport…preparing
us for bowls in our old age.
Clean cobwebs,
make peanut butter sandwiches and wipe a bottom, all whilst talking on the
phone.
Measure correct doses
of panadol in the dark.
Make pancakes;
WHAT? I hear you ask? Indeed; I am very
versatile. The edible kind, too, and not
the shake and bake option either (though I am NOT averse to friendly cooking
short cuts EVER).
Exclude sentences
(and sometimes whole pages accidentally
stick together when I turn them) when I read the kids books aloud at bed time.
Hot tip – jumping from, “Once upon a time” to “And that’s the end of the story”,
is a little obvious, even for a nearly 2 year old.
Googling and self
diagnosing childhood ailments…and my own, ‘cos HELL…who has the energy to
go to the doctor? The clinic waiting room has been witness to many of my best
and worst parenting moments…luckily walls can’t talk, but I do sometimes
wonder if the receptionist does… ?
Smell a crappy
nappy from 1000 paces (this is a horrible, horrible skill, especially if it is
not your child’s nappy!)
Clean grubby
faces with my very own saliva (grossing myself out right now).
Bake
scones…miracles do happen (thanks, Mum)….Granted it’s normally under
pressure when a visitor is dropping in, I have no shop bought biscuits and
scones are the only things I have ingredients for in my pantry.
Shower AND wash my hair whilst my daughter hands me
the cast of the Octonauts one by one.
“A-ha me Hearties” like a pirate.
Drink wine (Yes, yes…responsibly). After years in
the mummying dessert, I made it my mission to return with a vengeance.
Unfortunately, I must admit I am not there yet; more practise required.
Google holidays that we won’t go on and real estate
that we can’t afford.
Manage a full scale gastro outbreak and put the house under lock-down

Assume gastro recovery position. Teddy, dolly, couch and TV. Poor bubs.

The following are things my 3 year old
son said I can do well :

Brush my teeth
Talk on the
telephone (&)
Go to the toilet

He
is right on all accounts…..I am oh so proud!

And, of course, here are some things I
will NEVER achieve :

Enjoy balloon
play. Fun stopper right here. I admit it.
Clean up vomit
without gagging
Sew; sorry Mum. N.E.V.E.R going to happen!
Have an organised
pantry with labelled food containers. This also extends to my plastics
cupboard. Matching Tupperware containers and lids would be a start…hell…who
am I kidding?…It mostly consists of those Chinese takeaway containers…cheap
AND versatile.
Bake and decorate kid’s birthday cakes in themed shapes. My intention is always good,
however, and I believe this is the most important thing…isn’t it?
HAVE A FULL NIGHT
OF UNINTERRUPTED SLEEP…????? Waaaaaaaaaa me!