TRICKS OF THE TRADE

Parenting has recently become a delicate operation of high powered trades in our house. I am lucky that at this stage I can be a full time mum at home with our kids, but this can seriously start to mess with my brain if I don’t have something hovering brightly on my horizon. I am one of those people who needs something to look forward to – whether it be The Bachelor(ette) on TV (no apologies!), a walk with a friend or even as golden as a sneaky night away. These little jewels glitter brightly and are essential in keeping my batteries charged and ultimately helping me be a better Mum.

Hence,step in to my office, Husband. Let the negotiations begin…..

Firstly, the location of such tense proceedings is regularly the kitchen bench. No iPhone tapping here….we do vintage, friends. The calendar is ceremoniously removed from the toilet wall (the best spot for ‘no excuses’ viewing) and pens are held at the ready. Possibly a hangover from years of teaching, but I like to roll with a red pen….I do believe this gives me a powerful edge over the competition…

Meetings occur after the kids are safely tucked in bed, so there is no squawking or leg pulling distractions. This also enables me a full day of mind planning; what can be compromised? What absolutely CANNOT be messed with? Tactics are crucial and flattery works. I am sorry, Husband, but when I said that your cycling schedule was on a par with Cadel Evans, this actually translates to, “You areNOT professional, sweetheart, and you do NOT need all that ‘training’!”
Alternatively, an afternoon with my ‘go to’ girl(s) is crucial for my workplace mental health and safety, and a long walk is simply life pro-longing exercise (regardless of how long is actually spent in a cafe).

Next on the agenda, (sad but true), even spots are sometimes reserved for ‘specialist’ cleaning, which I will not accept as my ‘down time’. I have a daughter who is terrified of the vacuum cleaner and a son who likes to build towers with my washing piles. And those of you with active kids know the extreme dangers associated with ironing and mopping around small kids (Hang on…ironing? Did I say ironing? Must have been thinking of someone else…) OK. So I know these jobs could really be done at night, but I am regularly ‘done’ by then. The evening is my only ‘me’ time all day; even visiting the toilet is done with an audience. Lock and slot it. Red pen it. Oh..and in addition to cleaning slots…just because something is in my handwriting, does not automatically mean it is for me. Bringing my son to the dentist does not exactly constitute “Anna” time in my books.All hail you working mums and dads, especially those with kids in kinder and school. I truthfully believe I have worked harder than I ever have before at home with my kids, but my couch can occasionally become my desk when the days get long and Peppa Pig is a terrific emergency babysitter. I cannot begin to imagine what your calendars look like!! Move aside TMNT; you are the true heroes with a half sleep. Between lipstick, lunchboxes and flute lessons, the wheeling and dealing involved in arranging drop-offs, pick-ups and after school care must be insanity.

It is often a laborious tug-of-war struggle as each week is planned out. It is regularly reviewed and updated and crosses and scribbles often feature across our days.  As our kids get older, their activities must be prioritised as well as ensuring adequate whole family fun time. Of course, we need to schedule in some precious couple time together, too, to reintroduce ourselves and remind each other about, well…each other…

So, like every busy household, planning is the glue that sticks us together.
Spontaneity is so not my thing these days, but as the bubs tick off milestones, I can slowly feel this easing up a little. So my friends, if there’s anything I need to get on to, let me know and I will get the red pen out.

And remember, if it’s not on the calendar, it’s
not on.