We have agreed to see other people.
It is a mutual decision and we are both comfortable with it.
You see, the kids are getting older and previous date nights of cheap prosecco and takeaway at home on a Friday night no longer seems to scratch that itch. Sure, it’s easy to stick with the comfort of predictability, but at this stage in my life, I am hungry for more excitement, variety and new companionship.
And so Husband and I have embarked on what can only be described as the ‘dating’ scene. We are in a new city and have left our lifelong friends and loving family in a different state. Whilst it’s nice to be ‘all’ for ‘each other’ for a while, he is out working and mingling with adults all day – and my colleagues are 4 & 2 years old.
We need friends.
Though Husband and I are very much together, it is time to spread our wings.
So here are three ways that we have jumped back in the saddle and got ourselves back on the ‘dating’ scene.
1. PLAYGROUND PROPOSALS
Everyone has told me that it’s so much easier to make friends through the kids. But our kids are not at school or sessional kinder yet, hence this connection is only loosely found at soft play, the playground or playgroup. I have totally enjoyed a few hopeful minutes of chat, but it does get socially awkward when it is your kids wildly tearing through the soft play tunnels playing death tiggy and taking everyone down in their path. Just read my blow by painful blow description in Playground Perils .
And just for the record, ain’t no tinder for kinder.
2. GIVE AN OLD FRIEND A POKE
Before I continue here, what is up with the ‘poke’ option on facebook? What actually does it mean? Bit bizarro if you ask me!
Anyway, I admit it.
I am a stalker.
I have openly confessed my new passion for social media.
I love seeing photos of kids birthday parties and dressage ribbons and what you just cooked for dinner. I love it. I have kept in touch with loads of people with a little ‘like’ here, a little ‘heart’ there and complete overdose of emojis, but I am so much better for it.
When we discussed moving to Sydney, we took a quick inventory of who we knew here. Each of us had a link to an old friend and I will happily maintain that true friends are those whom you may not talk to in forever, but when you ‘poke’, they roll out the red carpet and chill the wine. Sure…now there a few more wrinkles, the nights wind up a lot earlier, but there is a fantastic amount of ‘remember whens…’!
3. TRIED AND TESTED
Now this has, by far, been the scariest!
When a friend gives you the name of someone to contact and insists you would get along with them like a house on fire. Absolutely blind dating at it’s finest, with a little twist of unintentional pressure; an air of polite expectation from the referee (& I know this as I have been there)…but…
WINNING!!!
so far….
My survival tips :
- It is tough to get the right balance of ‘casual’ v ‘over-eagerness’, so try to avoid spilling your A game stories on the first ‘date’.
- Perhaps one should leave out the tale of scooping toddler poop at the playground at this early stage.
- Try to avoid reeking desperation
- Have faith in your referee (&)
- Wait till you drink wine with your date, pull out the ‘Barbecue Shapes for the kids dinner’ story, and see how they react….
And…
if all else fails…
do as a ‘kind’ relative suggested…
pull out the phone book (who has those anymore??) and call strangers who happen to share the correct spelling of your maiden name… obviously long lost cousins…(possibly for a reason…??).
Love you, Mum. xx
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