So right now my fingers are twitching to post more cocktail, sunset and beach holiday photos to social media, along with quirky ‘best holiday ever’ comments to match. I want to confirm to you all that my hours (bloody HOURS!) of research and our final decision to embark on a cruise ship was the best thing that we ever did, and we are in fact racing to re-book the same trip, same time for next year.
But it actually wasn’t all that.
I was pretty damned happy to make it home to be honest.
Here is why…
Let’s head right to the kicker.
Gastro.
Now in hindsight, I am pretty certain that we brought this on ourselves. I am NOT blaming the cruise company. My daughter was sick a few days before we left and I convinced myself it must have been something she ate, because 3 days later we were all still fine and clear to board.
We were not.
Every single one of us vomited, but I am eternally grateful that only my husband and I got diarrhea because I would NOT have coped if the kids copped this, too. Consequently, as we slowly recovered, all of the incredible food that was included in the food package continued to make my stomach turn. Everything ‘smelt’ like gastro. On the plus side; I didn’t put on any weight.
Next up on our once in a lifetime holiday fail… I hate to actually admit this…but…
Kids.
In all my pre-holiday fantasies, the kids (oddly enough) were missing from the picture. Husband and I were kicking back on the sun lounges, drinking cocktails and finishing our conversations, whilst they were safe and happy at Kids Club. You know how much I love our little ones, but I have desperately been in need of recharging lately, and quite frankly, I was banking on some time out. Of course I wasn’t banking on my son rejecting the holy grail of Kids Club and it took a great deal of convincing (and yes, lollypops, too), to get him to return. When he finally did concede, I was awash with ridiculous mother’s guilt as I clipped his little name badge on.
Really, in many ways, a family holiday is sometimes simply “same sh*t, different place”; we had tantrums, run offs, food meltdowns, fetal position protests, sleeping issues; complete with comments about the appearance of strangers to their face in the confines of a lift (it’s these moments I am NOT so proud of how articulate our 3 year old is).
And just for the record, I am not a complete heartless biatch. In this case, persistence paid off, and it took simply winning a lolly in a game of Pass The Parcel for the little man to become the number one fan of Kids Club.
Oddly, Husband kept trying to compare this overseas holiday with kids to that of our giant 2010 ‘Just married/No kids’ overseas odyssey.
“What did we do everyday back then?” he puzzled.
ARE.YOU.SERIOUS?
Slept in! Ate at our leisure! Read books! Talked to each other! Sat comfortably in silence! The list goes on…
Finally, I must remind you, we were on a cruise.
Sea sick.
Despite my absolute certainty we would be fine, 3 out of the 4 of us were green with the swell times.
For Husband and I, it rolled in in waves. Up; down. Good; bad. It was manageable. I had pills. We could battle on with a vague feeling of nausea and lethargy. Tragically, I could barely face alcohol. It really didn’t help that the cleaning product used in all the on board toilets took on the same fruity smell of the cocktail I had chugged back wildly on Day 1; before we set sail.
For our son, it was worse. The nights hit him hard. Whilst active during the day, he was distracted and fine, but as dinner time crept round, he went down. Every second night he was sick, despite the calmest of seas. The fancy, all inclusive, white table cloth restaurant, became a no-go zone for fear of a hasty exit. But worse than this, any plans for some holiday romance flew out the port hole as we played musical beds each night. Bless our little boy who battled on and still insists the ‘holiday boat’ was the ‘best holiday ever!’
And in many ways it was.
Truly.
The cruise itself was incredible.
The ship was mind blowing in its garish extravagance. The staff were exemplary and would do absolutely anything to make your trip one to remember. After our self imposed lock-down, we had a visit to a stunning beach which was undoubtedly a sparkling day for us all to remember. On board activities were perfectly organised and a great variety, allowing for loads of family fun. If you love food, enjoy cramming as much as possible on giant plates, and firmly believe there is always room for an extra meal between brunch and lunch, this holiday is for you. There was an abundant feeling of camaraderie and being a part of something special on board. Husband and I even jagged a few moments of silent sunshine on the sun lounges.
We could have had it all.
But we didn’t. Not quite.
Maybe next time we’ll go camping.
