FIGHT OR FLIGHT

Dear Virgin Airlines

I wish to extend a giant thanks to you all, especially regarding the configuration of your seats.
A few days ago, we returned from holiday; hence I booked tickets for later in the day to squeeze another half day of sightseeing in. In hindsight, a flight over dinner time and the traditional ‘arsenic hour’ was probably not my finest moment. I felt I was well armed with snacks and various distractions, but was not prepared for my daughter singing (screaming), “SHUT UP AND DRIVE, DRIVE, DRIVE…” for most of the 2hr 20 minute trip home.
Given my husband spent most of check-in and gate waiting booking in some cycling race, I felt it was only fair he ran with prime parenting duties on board. Seats were stacked…3 seats, aisle, 4th seat. Can’t leave a child sitting alone, so I drew the long straw. 😀😀😀
Magazine out, a few disgusted looks at ‘that family’ across the aisle who had absolutely NO concept of ‘inside voices’, and I held on for the ride.
The genius husband gave them the emergency booklet for entertainment before takeoff, so the first 15 minutes of the flight featured questions about crashing, oxygen masks and water landings AT THE TOP OF THEIR LUNGS. An argument ensued regarding my 6 year old’s disbelief that he could not take his bag down the ‘slide’. Chocolate was quickly and fiercely dealt out as bribery, but this completely backfired as they screamed for more and sugar pulsed through their throbbing temples.
“SHUT UP AND DRIVE, DRIVE, DRIVE.”
Yes…I could see those around us slipping ear plugs in and wriggling to show their discomfort at their inability to sleep. I felt their pain. But there were no reserves left in the tank. Given they were just extraordinarily loud and excited, (as opposed to flat out naughty), it was just crowd control. By this stage exhaustion was creeping in, and my husband simply began laughing with them.

It was a free for all by descent.
“MUMMY, WE’RE LEANING!!”
“SHUT UP AND DRIVE, DRIVE, DRIVE.”
“I CAN SEE GRANDMA’S HOUSE.” (Impossible)
“I’M HUNGRY!” (Sorry Virgin, but I was banking on a sausage roll or a ham sandwich 😬)
Did I mention I am a rubbish flyer and like to send myself to a happy place?
Not our finest parenting moment.
My apologies to those sitting near us; heck, who am I kidding…the whole plane.
Thanks to those numerous passengers who congratulated us for surviving whilst we wrangled kids at the luggage carousel, and telling us that they have been in our position before.
Home.
A full night of sleep.
Moving on.
Time to organise a school uniform (& all the rest)….
I will just hang on to this glorious holiday moment…