CHIT CHAT AT THE SCHOOL GATE

How incredibly fast does a school day fly by? One minute you are swinging out the school gate and next thing, BOOM; you’re right back there!

As the mum of the ‘new kid’ this year, I have possibly been just as anxious about making friends as my son. It is simply exhausting plastering the, ‘Trust me; I’m a nice, NORMAL person’ smile all over my face each day. I know it takes time and slowly I am meeting people, but I felt I needed to refer back to the basics that I have learnt.

For all the mums who have done school pickup with forgotten superhero stickers across your forehead; this one is for you.

THE DO’S AND DON’TS AT THE SCHOOL GATE :

DON’TS:

If you are dropping your son off with a toothpaste stain down his shirt from yesterday, always be the first to acknowledge it…something along the lines of, “I can’t believe s/he managed that. I just noticed it in the car.”
If you have to do drop off or pick up with younger siblings, always make sure you cut it as fine to the bell as you can. Conversations are no fun with other parents if you are squawking constantly over their shoulder to, “GET DOWN OFF THOSE MONKEY BARS!” The timing is tricky, because I would also suggest you allow five minutes for the inevitable negotiations that go along with convincing your child to put their shoes on and FAST, otherwise you may be late. This is also the point when your kinder child now wishes to pack a bag of ‘special’ toys that they cannot find and change into a fairy costume.
If you’ve popped to the shops prior to pickup to avoid the madness that is shopping with children, try to put all your biscuits and ‘unhealthy’ stuff at the bottom of your bag. Overflow the top with some leafy thing like spinach (Actually…scrap that…I mean, who doesn’t buy that stuff pre-washed in a bag?).
Don’t always be late. Don’t be that, “always late for everything,” parent that is always running up the hill, always skidding sideways into the hall when someone’s child is enjoying their moment presenting in assembly or always leaving their child sitting alone, craning their little necks towards the gate to see who is coming for them. We all run late sometimes; just not every time.
Don’t ever speak about other people’s kids if you don’t know the parents around you. In fact, just don’t speak about other little kids.
Start your rundown of this week’s A Handmaid’s Tale with the wrong crowd. Drop a few teasers early before you go there…find your people.

DO :

Thank the teachers. Every day. As much as you can. As a teacher myself, it is an incredible tough gig, and sometimes all the parents jump in about are the negatives. Remember, teachers cannot possibly see everything, they go above and beyond their pay packets, and here’s a good thing to remember; sometimes our angels tell little fibs if they fear they might get in trouble.
Know that there is nothing wrong with the spit and wipe upon entry at the school gates. This strategy has been used by our mothers before us and will continue on for our children’s children. It’s amazing what suddenly appears on the kids faces once you’re out in the real world that simply was not there before back at the house.
Brush up on Advance Australia Fair. That moment when the kids are all up standing to face your way towards the flag pole as the first strains of our anthem peals out, is mildly awks if you can’t remember the words.
Use the word ‘busy’ A LOT; if you’re not ‘busy’ then you’re ‘obviously’ not working hard enough.
Moan about making lunch boxes; it’s a safe common ground.
Comment on another Mum’s shoes, nails, haircut, bag, etc. Don’t be a complete suck, but we all crave a lovely compliment. Most of those parents at the gate have either had a long day of play dough and jigsaws with small kids, or have moved heaven and earth to make it from work through traffic to be there on time.

In fact, if there is one thing I have learnt; possibly the most important tip I could pass along, it would be this: