A wise friend once told me upon the arrival of my first baby, “Always get your daily shower. You will feel human again.” Wow; she was bang on the money! My first baby was a marathon feeder and my second was an optional sleeper, but I have never missed a daily shower. Though I regularly plan on Pyjama Day, I just can’t bring myself to do it. Believe me when I tell you that this truly grieves me!
Remember those long, luxuriously hot showers on a weekend morning pre-children? Actually leaving the conditioner in for the recommended time?! Lazily lathering on some expensive, highly perfumed product that a friend recommended onto freshly shaven legs?! Slowly and carefully plucking those few stray eyebrows??!! Carefully moisturising and APPLYING MAKEUP?! Always ensuring the fan was on as you had closed the door?!
After my first baby, I was blissfully spoilt with an ensuite shower. Husband would bathe the baby at night and I would disappear into the steamy, silent world of clean. I would close my eyes and have my moment. It was a quiet place for a giggle, a sigh and the occasional ‘over it’ cry. I would re-emerge in fresh PJ’s, scrubbed face and with a vital re-boot.
Now with two bubbas, one bathroom and Husband working later, orchestrating my shower is an exercise in precise time management.
- Bring son to toilet – check
- Lay out underwear and clothes ready to jump in to…need to raid washing basket (clean!!) for undies – check
- Ensure water bottles and (choc bribe) small, healthy snack is within reach of children – check
- Now….depending on the age of your children and obviously factoring in safety…it is time to select the show… This is KEY to the whole event…is it a Peppa Pig Day (translation – a quick duck in and out day) as Peppa is only 5 minutes?….OR…..Am I feeling lucky?? Is it a Ben and Holly day? (translation – is there a special occasion and do I need to shampoo and squeeze a leg shave in? 15 mins or so…?) – check
Quick precision…press play and run like the clappers! I have regularly got the water running just right, stepped in and….”Mummy!!!! I NEED A TISSUE!!” Dammit; didn’t plan on a sneeze and spaghetti tube of snot down the forlorn face of my son which apparently is enough to create a melt-down. Quickly splash the pits and out.
- Discover soap is still all over me – check
- Drag clothes on, only to discover I have actually forgotten to dry significant areas of skin – check
- Notice towel smelling mildly rank – check
- Mental note to moisturise later – check.
On the up side, at least I don’t actually need the baby in a rocker in the bathroom with me anymore.
My babies are growing up.
Exhale.
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