It
was with much sadness that it dawned on me (I was probably near 30 years old at this
stage) that our childhood dog, Whiskers, did not go to a lovely little farm
just outside Hexham. At the time, I was sad to lose him, yet happy that he had
gone to a place (in my imaginings) with rolling hills, green meadows, white
picket fences and other dogs to play with. But the lightning bolt realisation stopped me dead
in my tracks; derrr Anna,
obviously he died. Someone told a
little white lie to us kids and truthfully, I was all the better for it.
was with much sadness that it dawned on me (I was probably near 30 years old at this
stage) that our childhood dog, Whiskers, did not go to a lovely little farm
just outside Hexham. At the time, I was sad to lose him, yet happy that he had
gone to a place (in my imaginings) with rolling hills, green meadows, white
picket fences and other dogs to play with. But the lightning bolt realisation stopped me dead
in my tracks; derrr Anna,
obviously he died. Someone told a
little white lie to us kids and truthfully, I was all the better for it.
You
see, I get it now. Sometimes as parents, we get a little ‘creative’ in order to
get ourselves out of a situation…We
may need to give our answers a bit of thought, hence we employ delay tactics,
or we flat out simply cannot deal with something at that point in time…so we
lie…sometimes, my lies are magnificent.
So
here are 5 of my most commonly used ‘Mummy Lies’:
here are 5 of my most commonly used ‘Mummy Lies’:
(Please
feel free to use at your own risk…)
feel free to use at your own risk…)
1. JUST GIVE ME 5 MINUTES
ClearlyI am in the middle of something, possibly cooking dinner, sorting washing or
maybe that something is sitting on the couch watching that catch-up of the Princess Mary movie, and that is
just fine. Another special version of this is…”Maybe after lunch” (or
feel free to insert any meal/daily event of your choice). Delay away, my
friends.
2. IT WILL ONLY STING A LITTLE BIT
I heard
myself tell my son this and internally eye rolled as I prepared him for his 4
year old immunisations. It was one ginormous mother of a lie. One was for tetanus
and we all know that they bloody well hurt! But really, as if I would tell him
anymore… “Yes my beautiful boy; the needle feels like a mutant bee sting,
then a strange throb of fluid will pulse through your arm and you might feel an
aching, dead arm for possibly the next two days…..don’t worry about it!”
myself tell my son this and internally eye rolled as I prepared him for his 4
year old immunisations. It was one ginormous mother of a lie. One was for tetanus
and we all know that they bloody well hurt! But really, as if I would tell him
anymore… “Yes my beautiful boy; the needle feels like a mutant bee sting,
then a strange throb of fluid will pulse through your arm and you might feel an
aching, dead arm for possibly the next two days…..don’t worry about it!”
I
think not.
think not.
3. IT TASTES A LITTLE BIT LIKE ICE-CREAM
Ahhh…the
food lies.
food lies.
Forgive
me, but YES, I lie ALL the time to get some mere crumbs digested off my dinner
plates. This can be bundled with some other classics; “It’s just water…”
(soft drink in my cup) or “I’m just opening a bag of dried fruit…” (guaranteed
to make my kids run in the opposite direction as I bunker down in my kitchen
sneaking Tim Tams). You may scoff at my food ‘lies’, but I am living proof that
they work. I was told peas were filled with ice-cream as a child and I couldn’t
really prove otherwise at 5 years old. I still eat them today.
me, but YES, I lie ALL the time to get some mere crumbs digested off my dinner
plates. This can be bundled with some other classics; “It’s just water…”
(soft drink in my cup) or “I’m just opening a bag of dried fruit…” (guaranteed
to make my kids run in the opposite direction as I bunker down in my kitchen
sneaking Tim Tams). You may scoff at my food ‘lies’, but I am living proof that
they work. I was told peas were filled with ice-cream as a child and I couldn’t
really prove otherwise at 5 years old. I still eat them today.
4. JUST LET ME HAVE A THINK ABOUT IT
Translation
: No chance, but I am too tired to fight this battle right now.
: No chance, but I am too tired to fight this battle right now.
Rarely,
it may actually mean I do need a think about it…rarely…
it may actually mean I do need a think about it…rarely…
5. IT’S FINE. IT’S ALL OK.
Aaaaahhhh….the
soother…the nurturing whisper…the words that are entwined with hugs.
Sometimes I need to say it to calm myself, especially if they have
fallen…especially if they have actually hurt themselves…there is blood or a
grazed knee or a knocked tooth…whether I know it’s going to be alright or
not…I tell them so anyway. Permission to say it slowly, softly and hit
repeat. Trust me; it helps.
soother…the nurturing whisper…the words that are entwined with hugs.
Sometimes I need to say it to calm myself, especially if they have
fallen…especially if they have actually hurt themselves…there is blood or a
grazed knee or a knocked tooth…whether I know it’s going to be alright or
not…I tell them so anyway. Permission to say it slowly, softly and hit
repeat. Trust me; it helps.
However,
the best I’ve heard to date was the one about the Mr Whippy Van – if it’s
playing music it means they have run out of ice-cream. Brilliant and tragic all
rolled in to one. Don’t think I can bring myself to use that one, especially if
I may be in need of a choc dipped cone myself.
the best I’ve heard to date was the one about the Mr Whippy Van – if it’s
playing music it means they have run out of ice-cream. Brilliant and tragic all
rolled in to one. Don’t think I can bring myself to use that one, especially if
I may be in need of a choc dipped cone myself.
And
don’t you dare link lies to Santa near this blog…because in this house, we
all know Santa is absolutely, undoubtedly true and we are so ho ho close to
getting our jingle on.
don’t you dare link lies to Santa near this blog…because in this house, we
all know Santa is absolutely, undoubtedly true and we are so ho ho close to
getting our jingle on.
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| My family tree decorating last year…look at my tiny wee babies and that oh so cute reindeer! |
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