It was with much sadness that it dawned on me (I was probably near 30 years old at this stage) that our childhood dog, Whiskers, did not go to a lovely little farm just outside Hexham. At the time, I was sad to lose him, yet happy that he had gone to a place (in…
Trying Toddlers
MUMMY MUCKED UP
I left my daughter with a complete stranger. A MAN! In a park. She was only 4 months old. Not the proudest mummying moment I’ve had, but even now, I believe I would do the same thing again. It all began with every parent’s revolting nightmare; the pits of the pits, the crappiest of the…
I DITCHED THE FAIRY BREAD
Today I have to bake a cake. Not just any old cake. A TRANSFORMER cake. Why oh why did I have to be friends with such talented baking high achievers? The bar has been set exceptionally high. Luckily my friends know me well and fully support a cake with plastic toys stuck on top (my…
AGEING LIKE FINE WINE…OR NOT….
And then I was 40… (nearly 41, but let’s not get too technical, shall we?). Yes. It was brutal. It was abrupt. It is still a shock. I feel like I blinked and missed the entry to adulthood. Was it when I had my first kiss? First car? First rental lease? First child? Because, quite…
PLAYGROUND PERILS
Seems innocent enough. But look closely. Don’t be fooled. “Come and join us,” they said. “It will be fun,” they said. This apparent mummy Utopia had become my hell; my place of nightmares. Just thinking about it twisted my insides and my heart thundered. My mind would race ahead to images of blood, debris and…
BATHERS & BAGINAS
A hairbrush. So simple. But it had never dawned on me to bring one to the swimming pool. I saw another mum brushing her daughter’s hair and actually stared in awe at the simplicity of such a brilliant idea. I consider it a good day if I remember nappies/undies for us all. And so I…
WWF AT DINNERTIME
Yesterday evening, I momentarily believed that I had outdone myself. I had shopped, chopped and plated up like a Masterchef. I had considered my children’s likes and dislikes, planned a healthy, balanced meal, (chilled some wine) and…‘hel And so it began…dinnertime wrestling… ROUND 1 Tears…already. My daughter clipped her head on the side of the…
