To all my lovely new morning drop off school parents : If you see more than, hmmmm…let’s say 3 of the characteristics listed below as I approach the school gate….do not…I repeat, DO NOT approach me…(unless you have chocolate and a sympathetic ear). Look at my 3 year old daughter’s hair carefully. If it is…
GOING LAH-LAH FOR LAH-LAH
Looking for a tune that will stay in your head all day long? Feeling a little blah and looking for some Lah (Lah)? Staring down the barrel of some looooonggg April holidays (and then the dreaded winter break) and wildly googling for activities for the kids? Sick of concerts where you are trying to keep…
LOOK FOR THE GOOD
Terrorism. Death. Violence. Fear. Enough! Enough already. I will not allow myself or the lives of my children to be defeated by crazy, needless, heartbreaking violence. I choose to…no…I NEED to find me some happy. So, without wishing to be shallow or insensitive, here is my list. I love Friday evenings. Yes, I am…
DID I STOP? No; I just strolled by…
COMMUNITY SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT Please take note : Never, NEVER stop a parent on a mission in a shopping centre with a stroller. For your own safety, let me share something with you. Step the hell aside. FAST. To all you tin rattlers, pop up store owners, restaurant spruikers, whimsical window shoppers; whatever you may be, clear…
HAPPY SNAPS : MAKING THE MOST OUT OF YOUR iPHONE CAMERA
“Smile and say twisties!” “Look at daddy’s funny nose; what’s on his nose?” “ANNND….CHHHEEESSSEEEE!” ‘Who can see Mummy’s tiny fairy crown on her head?” “Pleassssssseeee…SMILE. Just smile. Is it soooo hard? Please stand still. Please don’t grab your sister around her neck…please…” Oh the lengths we go to get that shot, heh? Just that…
THE GAGGLE AT THE GATE : BIRDSNEST TO THE RESCUE
It happened. I became one of those women overnight. You know the type…perfect makeup at 8am, co-ordinated, expensive looking wardrobes, pristine polished nails, freshly blow dried hair, perfect elocution, wide smiles with whitened teeth, polite children, pin wheel and frittata making experts….dammit, who am I kidding? I may have graduated to ‘school-mum’, but I am…
TIMELY TIME OUT
Time out. I have sent myself to time out and all I can think of is the chocolate bar and how fast I would smash it. Get on to this one, folks, because I have turned the tiny tables and confused the tiny minds I am hoping to broaden. You see, earlier today the kids…
SCREENING WITH MEANING
“Please click the LIKE button below and be sure to subscribe for this channel.” When my 3 year old dropped this little nasty with a tinge of American twang just in mid conversation, I knew she had watched way too many episodes of upbeat, yippety families unwrapping toys on YouTube. It’s just that I don’t…
MY SHOCK REDUNDANCY
I just didn’t see it coming. I’m actually ashamed to admit it, but last week I was made redundant. I still have my other job to keep me busy of course, but it was like a sledgehammer hit me sideways. I was left winded, gasping for breath and I am still feeling incredibly emotional about…
A “SCHOOL MUM” NEWBIE : FEAR AND FREEDOM
I have just began my new life as ‘school mum’; alternating washed shirts, defrosting bread rolls, emptying uneaten food from the lunchbox and lists; always writing lists. Twice a week now, my littlest diva goes to pre-school, giving me precious time to work, write those lengthy lists and stare painfully at the tipped out lego…